5 Minutes on Caring and Caretaking in Leadership

In my work with leaders and leadership teams, we see polarities show up on a daily basis.

A polarity is two opposite or contrasting tendencies, values, or forces that are interdependent - each helps define or give meaning to the other.

Some examples include the in and out of our breath, light and dark, individual and collective, innovation and tradition. You can dive more into interdependent pairs with Human Systems Dynamics HERE.

Polarities are part of the human experience. They remind us that the world, and our work together, is complex and full of surprises. 

Two related polarities that frequently show up in our work as people leaders are Caring and Caretaking, and Accountability and Support.

Let’s explore how the concept of polarity can help us live out these values.

Because that’s what they are: values. We value caring and caretaking. We value accountability and support.

But if one pole is overemphasized it creates an imbalance. This imbalance can lead to unhelpful behaviors. 

These two polarities in balance and imbalance might look like:

Caring and Caretaking

Balanced: A healthy expression of caring is empathy. A healthy expression of caretaking is responsible stewardship for the well-being of our employees. 

Imbalanced: When this polarity is out of balance, caring can look like overstepping boundaries and caretaking can become owning or enabling others feelings. 

Accountability and Support 

Balanced: A healthy expression of accountability might look like structure, honesty, responsibility, or growth. When support is in balance it can be expressed as empathy, compassion, or affirmation. 

Imbalanced: When this polarity is out of balance accountability becomes harsh, punitive, or perfectionistic. Support enables avoidance and lowers standards. 

It’s complex, right?

But understanding that these work as polarities helps. 

We can look for signs of imbalance; signs that we are moving into unhealthy expressions of these values. 

When we notice imbalance we can move to the other side of polarity. 

When we notice ourselves owning someone else’s feelings, we can lean back on empathy. 

When we see that we’ve been overstepping boundaries, we can remind ourselves of the role of a responsible steward. 

Where in your work or life are caring and caretaking, or accountability and support, out of balance right now? 

Which pole is being overemphasized? How you can lean towards the other pole? 

Want to keep exploring? 

I give credit to Barry Johnson for this framework and recommend his book, Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems.